


the many magical maladys of magnus bane

by MyGoldenEyes



Series: Many Magical Maladys of Magnus Bane [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec is a good boyfriend, Domestic Fluff, Hurt Magnus Bane, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus Bane-centric, Mundane Alec Lightwood, Mundane Magnus Bane, Nothing explicit, POV Magnus Bane, Protective Alec Lightwood, author has fibro, author is in pain, being stubborn, magnus has fibromyalgia, mundane AU, soft smut, still probably appropriate for teen and up, vent fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-06-21 21:48:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15567039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyGoldenEyes/pseuds/MyGoldenEyes
Summary: Date nights are a scheduled event, unfortunately, flare-ups don't have much respect for Magnus' schedule.or Magnus has fibro and he's stubborn but Alec just wants him to be happy





	1. Chapter 1

Date night was a scheduled event. The second friday of every month. Unfortunately there were many things in life that did not feel the need to keep with Magnus’ schedule. One of those things was the pain. It had no respect for even the best laid plans. It had forced Magnus out of his dancing career and it was now heading a campaign against Magnus’ relationship. He would have none of it. 

It started in the morning. Magnus woke to an empty bed and searing pain up his right side. Magnus tried to lift his head but the pain would not allow it. He shifted slightly and called out for Alec. When he got no response he let out a half scream half whimper before forcing himself to sit up. 

Sunlight streamed through the windows, the cheerful morning light mocking Magnus’ current situation. He looked down at his body and quickly took inventory. He examined all of the places where it hurt the worst to ensure that it as nothing serious, just fibro. He reached down and put a hand on his right ankle. It was not swollen and the muscles were only a little tighter than they should have been. 

Magnus shifted his legs out of bed and tried to stand. At the slightest hint of weight on his right leg it gave out. Magnus crumpled, his head clipping his bedside table on his way down. He bit into his lip in an attempt to keep himself silent. Still when he hit the floor he made a very loud thud. The whole thing was rather dramatic and would have been right up Magnus’ alley, if not for the personal injury. 

Still, the day must go on. Or was it the show must go on? With all these dramatics Magnus’ life might as well have been a TV drama. Magnus rolled to his good side and with much difficulty hoisted himself up on to the bed. Once situated he lifted his hand to his head and only found a bump, no dents or signs of bleeding so that was good. He really couldn’t deal with another concussion. 

Luckily Alec had been working late last night and left his laptop on the bedside table so Magnus only needed to grab it to get to work. Unfortunately the snack drawer that Alec always kept well stocked for days when Magnus was feeling bad was totally empty. Part of Magnus wished Alec was here so he could have some company and help but a bigger more sinister part of him never wanted Alec to see him like this.

It was that part of Magnus that had kept his ailment from his boyfriend for the first six months they were together. He pretended to have business meetings on his down days. Joked about being lazy when he would randomly sit down in public. It wasn’t until Magnus physically collapsed in front of Alec, screaming in pain, and Alec had tried to call an ambulance for Magnus only to have said man scream at him to put his phone down that the truth was revealed. 

“What do you mean don’t call for help Mags? Something’s wrong! Healthy people don’t just collapse.” Magnus flinched at the mention of healthy people. He considered himself healthy. He worked out whenever he could, he ate right, but he was far from healthy and it killed him. Alec looked down at Magnus imploring him for some sort of explanation. 

“I have fibromyalgia. I get intense and random joint pain and it can be caused by physical activity.” Magnus looked down, partially because the pain was spreading and he couldn’t lift his head and partially because he didn’t want to watch Alec abandon him. People didn’t want to be their partner’s caretaker. It had happened to many times before and Magnus really liked Alec. But instead of footsteps retreating or some half assed excuse of needing time to think Alec jumped into action. 

“Can I touch you? Will that make it worse?” Magnus steeled himself and looked up at Alec inquisitively. Magnus informed Alec that touch didn’t usually bother him and Alec scooped him up. Magnus didn’t know what to think as his boyfriend carried him home, asking him questions about how to best help the whole way. 

Magnus knew that Alec wouldn’t judge him or think less of him when he saw Magnus at such low points. Still he was reluctant to let anyone in when he felt so bad. Being vulnerable was difficult. Especially being vulnerable with your body. Magnus stole a sideways glance at his phone and considered calling Alec who would no doubt drop whatever he was doing to come help Magnus however he could. Magnus was halfway through opening his phone when he got the notification. 

Today: Date Night 

Magnus wanted to scream. To reach in and pull his own nerves out. He couldn’t tell Alec that something was wrong or Alec would insist on canceling their date night. This was something Magnus had been looking forward to for weeks. It was Alec’s turn to plan it and he was always so thoughtful and amazing and Magnus couldn’t take that away from him just because his muscles and joints were a little achy. So Magnus resigned himself to work through the pain. 

It was around noon that Magnus realized the pain had died down. He instantly shot up, wanting to take this instance to shower and ready himself before the next wave hit him. He had undressed and was about to step into the shower when his phone started to ring. Seeing it was Alec he picked up. 

“Hello darling!” He tried to put on his best cheerful voice and mask the fact that the only thing he had vocalized that day were screams of agony. 

“Hey Mags. I just got on lunch break and I thought I’d call. Are you ready for tonight?” Magnus glanced through the bathroom door to the mirror that was quickly fogging over. 

“Yes of course dear! Don’t you know me?” Magnus lied through his teeth. Alec seemed to sense that something was off because he went silent for a moment. 

“Are you ok Magnus? Do you need to rest tonight? You know all you need to do is tell me.” Magnus flinched at how understanding his boyfriend was being but shook his head before remembering that Alec couldn’t see him. 

“No no dear! I’m fine. I’m just excited for tonight.” Alec was clearly not convinced but he didn’t push Magnus any further. They spoke about Alec’s work before Magnus made an excuse and hung up so that he could finally take his shower. 

“Love you Mags.” Magnus smiled to himself and returned the sentiment before hanging up and stepping into the bathroom. 

The shower was completely handicap accessible, at least that’s what Magnus had been told when he decided to have the shower installed. Truth was it was a hassle when his legs weren’t cooperating. It had a seat on the opposite wall of the shower head so the water fell lamely on his legs unless he pulled the shower head off and then he had nowhere to put it while he was trying to put in shampoo or conditioner. Still it was nice to be able to sit down if he needed to so Magnus tried to keep his complaining to a minimum. Of course the one time he had voiced his annoyance to Alec it had lead to Alec suggesting to bathe him and much dirtier events occured. 

After an agonizingly long shower Magnus hobbled his way out to his vanity table right outside of the bathroom. He sat down and began to pull out his makeup. He went through his normal steps until he got to eyeliner. He looked at the pen in his hand and observed how it shook and trembled. He put the eyeliner back down and went for eyeshadow. He had become accustomed to adapting to days when he didn’t have full bodily control. He went for a smokey eye look and decided to add some black lipstick to draw attention away from how sloppy his eyes were. 

As he was finishing up he heard Alec walk through the door. He shot up and winced before walking to greet his boyfriend. 

Alec was toeing his shoes off at the door when he saw Magnus approach. He walked up to Magnus and gave him a tight embrace, lifting him slightly before setting him back down on his aching legs. Magnus tried to hid his discomfort but it was hard to hide things from someone who knows you so well. 

Alec stopped and took in Magnus’ appearance and frowned. 

“No liner?” Magnus internally cursed Alec for knowing him so well but quickly tried to cover. 

“I was going for a night time look.” Magnus smiled and brought his hands up to frame his face. This didn’t fool Alec who took three steps back from Magnus. 

“Walk to me Mags.” It wasn’t a suggestion and Magnus knew that Alec knew, still Magnus held on to his resolve and tried to fake it to salvage date night. He took one step forward and he was on his second when his leg decided it was done and he lost his balance, falling into Alec’s waiting arms. 

Magnus broke. Tears of pain and bitterness and hatred of himself started to fall onto Alec’s work shirt. Magnus clutched onto Alec and sobbed into his chest as Alec stood steady and calm. His arms tightened around Magnus then he shifted to lift Magnus up. 

“I’ve got you.” Alec whispered as Magnus wept. He carried Magnus back to their bed and laid him down. He went to check the drawer and when he found it empty he gave Magnus a disappointed look. But instead of scolding Magnus for not calling him he just left to the kitchen and came back moments later with a health smoothie and protein crackers. He handed the smoothie to Magnus and started to methodically open each cracker packet and hand those to Magnus as well. Magnus drank and chewed and watched Alec do all of this in silence. 

After he swallowed the last bit of the drink he set the cup on their bedside table and looked down at his lap. He lifted a hand to wipe tears away and it came back smudged with makeup. Alec was up and back again in a flash with makeup wipes. He gently lifted Magnus’ head and began to methodically wipe all the makeup away. Magnus’ eyes flitted everywhere but Alec’s face, reluctant to face the idea of hurting Alec after trying so hard to make this not his problem. 

When Alec was done he tossed the wipes into the bin and looked up at Magnus, “I rented a movie for tonight, and I convinced Jace to pick us up a meal from that italian place you like. I thought it would be best to stay in this time. You’ve been a little off all week.” Magnus found himself close to tears again. Alexander was the most thoughtful and amazing person he had ever had the pleasure of loving. 

“I love you Alexander.” Magnus whispered before pulling him in for a soft kiss. Alec smiled into it and pulled away slowly. 

“Please.” His gaze was soft but determined and Magnus knew what he meant. 

“Please tell me next time”  
“Please ast for help”  
“Please don’t leave me in the dark”  
“Please tell me when you’re hurting.” 

Magnus wanted to promise that he would, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t go to Alec every time he had an issue. He needed to be independent. Maybe just a little less independent. So he gave Alec a sad smile and nodded.


	2. dive in, see the colors, refuse to swim; how to drown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author vents more. 
> 
> @ that one aquarium that nearly killed me, this is for you, you ass hole

Magnus dreaded days out. Not that he actually dreaded being out of the house. It was literally a breath of fresh air, and despite all the redecorating Magnus did the loft got boring. But still being out meant the chance of collapsing in public. Alec would have probably said that the bigger issue was the fact that collapsing meant Magnus was in pain and not the public exposure. But Magnus’ body could take it and his pride could not. 

But Magnus wanted to spend time with his niece. Madzie was up visiting and she wanted to go to the Aquarium. Magnus hadn’t been since it had been redone so he saw no reason to decline beyond the glare Alec gave him as he accepted the plans over the phone. As soon as he hung up he gave Alec a withering look. 

“What on earth could be wrong with a day at the aquarium? It’s been so long since I’ve been!” Alec rolled his eyes and brought a hand up to press his fingers to his temple. 

“Mags, why did you stop going to the aquarium?” Magnus glared at Alec indignantly before it dawned on him what had happened last time he had gone. It had been one of their dates. There was a large room with tanks on all sides where you walked on these platforms back and forth on the way down. The platforms had been to steep and Magnus had taken a tumble. Alec had been furious, talked about suing but Magnus had calmed him down and they had left quickly. Magnus had been on bed rest for a few days but it hadn’t really been a big deal. 

“Maybe they changed that room in the remodel?” Magnus suggested with a shrug as Alec looked on unamused. 

“I know I can’t convince you not to go.” Magnus smirked in victory before Alec spoke again, “But we are going to make some provisions.” Magnus frowned at that. 

***

“Alexander Gideon Lightwood I am not getting in a fucking wheelchair.” 

Alec smiled over Magnus’ shoulder and said, “Language.” Through gritted teeth.” Magnus whirled on his heels just in time for Madzie to collide with his thighs. Alec steadied Magnus from behind before moving to scoop Madzie up. 

“Uncle Alec!” Madzie squealed in delight as Alec spun her around. Magnus and Catarina had tried to get her to stop calling Alec “Uncle Alec” but Alec insisted he didn’t mind even though he wasn’t married or even engaged to Magnus. 

Magnus beamed at his boyfriend and his niece laughing happily together as Catarina came up to his side. 

“I can’t keep up with her anymore, I’m getting too old.” Magnus raised an eyebrow at that, “What’s with the chair?” Catarina gestured to the wheelchair that Alec had rented for Magnus for the day. 

“Well if you’re feeling so old it can be for you.” Cat gave Magnus a glare before he relented, “Alec rented it for me. He doesn’t think I can handle the whole day on my feet.” 

“I like him more and more every day.” Magnus turned to Cat, stunned. 

“What you don’t think I can handle it?” 

“Hell no! I wondered why you accepted but I know you, you’re too stubborn and Madzie was really excited.” Magnus looked over at Madzie who was animatedly explaining to Alec how she was a mermaid, demonstrating this by the lines of smeared marker on her neck she called gills. 

Very dejected Magnus sat down in the chair. 

“Magnus, why are you sitting down?” Alec looked at Magnus for a moment then glanced at Cat and gestured to Madzie as if to say, “your kid” 

“Uncle Magnus hurts a lot. So sometimes it’s best for him to sit down.” Madzie seemed to process this for a second. 

“Did my hug hurt you?” Magnus wanted to laugh because of course that was the only thing she was concerned about, children really are amazing. Magnus reassured her that she had not hurt him, avoiding Alec’s accusing gaze as he blatantly lied to a child. 

The Aquarium was a joy. Magnus never realized how little he had been able to enjoy it before. Now that he wasn’t causing himself immeasurable pain with every step everything seemed a lot brighter and more enjoyable. Alec was pushing him around and only left his side once to lift Madzie up so she could get closer to a fish swimming higher up. Even then it took a lot of convincing from Magnus and whining from Madzie. 

All of the redesign work was amazing. They had an outdoor dolphin area that segued into an indoor tank where you could see the dolphins from all angles. There was an outdoor koi pond filled with ducks and colorful fish and turtles. When Magnus had overheard a couple talking about how ‘authentic’ the carvings were, he shared a look with Cat before both of them burst into laughter that they refused to explain to Alec. 

Then they reached the room where Magnus had fallen the last time. It was a little spruced up. The inside of the tanks was all knew and the lighting system was better. The information plaques were also different but unfortunately, the walkways were still as steep as ever. Alec, with all his muscle, had trouble keeping Magnus from rolling away from him down those stupid things. 

Madzie noticed Alec struggling and offered to take over. Alec told her it was fine and continued to struggle. It was only a few minutes before Madize loudly announced that she didn’t like these fish and that she wanted to leave. Alec waved down an employee and had them direct them to an elevator where the whole group crammed in. As soon as the doors closed Madzie turned to Magnus who was now nearly at her eye level. 

“This is better for you even if we can’t see the fish right?” Magnus almost cried. Which probably said more about the lack of consideration he was used to rather than the compassion he was being shown. Alec bent down and planted a kiss on Magnus’ head. Magnus swatted him away and told Alec to stop treating him like a child. 

The doors opened and all of them walked out into the gift shop. Magnus promised Madzie that he would buy her one thing to remember the trip by. He assumed she would go for the stuffed mermaids but she was instead drawn to a photo booth where you posed in front of a green screen and then you were photoshopped with some ocean-related background into a snowglobe. 

Magnus asked her if that’s what she really wanted and she nodded. He made to get out of the chair, wanting to stand for the photo before Madzie spoke. 

“I want to sit in Uncle Magnus’ lap!” Catarina gave Magnus a questioning look. He considered the request for a moment before agreeing. Alec positioned him and Madzie hopped in his lap. Then Alec started to step away. 

“What are you doing Alexander?” Magnus questioned. Alec looked startled as if his actions were obvious. 

“I was stepping out. I’m just the boyfriend and I don’t want to ruin your family picture.” Magnus gave Alec a firm look and pointed to the spot next to him. 

“You’re not ‘just the boyfriend’ you’re my boyfriend and I love you and Madzie loves you and you’re going to be in her memory. Right Madzie?” Madzie nodded her head, nearly bouncing with enthusiasm. 

Alec shambled back with his head down, trying to hide a smile as everyone settled into place. 

It took around fifteen minutes for the whole process but they all waited happily talking about their lives. How Madzie was doing in school. Alec’s job, Cat’s job, and Magnus’ writing. It was pleasant. 

Alec and Magnus went to return the wheelchair and Cat took Madzie to the car after they had decided on a place to eat and promised to meet there. 

Magnus needed Alec’s help to stand up and in the parking lot on the way out. As Alec helped to get situated in the passenger’s seat Magnus spoke. 

“I think I need to get a wheelchair.” Alec smiled at him before digging his phone out of his pocket and opening it to a google page. 

“I’ve already found several I think you might like and I’ve been saving up money for it.” Alec continued to talk about how he had been planning all of this and Magnus was overtaken by the sincerity behind the gesture. He launched himself at Alec, almost falling out of the car in his attempt to embrace this man, the love of his life who was always there for him. 

Alec carefully steadied Magnus and pushed him fully back in the care before smiling at him, “I’ll take that as thanks.”


	3. sometimes it's better to stand on your own two feet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus was a dancer, yet another thing the pain took away. 
> 
> But sometimes it's better to laugh in the face of pain and just defy it, no matter the consequences.

Magnus missed dancing some days. He really did. It had become a guilty pleasure of his to watch choreography videos. He liked to think about what it would feel like to move with that kind of fluidity and strength. Not to say that he didn’t already move with some amount of fluidity and that he didn’t still exercise whenever his aching muscles allowed. It was just different than it had been when he could dance. 

On one fairly monotonous day where Alec was working late, Magnus had stumbled across a choreography video for Ariana Grande’s song God is a Woman. There were five dancers and they all moved with a combination of sharp, quick movements and slow, fluid sequences. It fit the song perfectly and all of the dancers were perfection. 

Magnus was in awe as he watched the dancers move. Their lean bodies showed almost no signs of stress as they twisted in impossible ways. Magnus tried not to think about the fact that his own arm had a slight tremor just from holding his phone out in front of him. The whole sequence drew Magnus in, his mind started running logistics. He recognized most of what they did and he was certain that he would be able to recreate most of it if he tried. Then the central dancer dropped. 

It was a simple enough movement. One leg bent down almost to the point of the knee touching the floor, the other taking the pressure of the body. The dancer held it for a beat before pushing back up into motion. But that beat was all it took to remind Magnus why he had quit dancing. That motion that she had made would have killed him. The strain it would put on his legs would have him out for days. 

But there was a strain of defiance in him. He didn’t want to let the pain take any more from him. So he went to their living room and carefully hooked his phone up to the speakers there. He might not dance anymore but this was still the home of a dancer. The living room was mostly just a large open space with a couch pressed up against one wall and a TV and speaker system on the opposite wall. 

Magnus pulled up the song and listened to it play through three times, thinking of what he was going to do. Halfway through the fourth playthrough he went and started it from the beginning. He went to his knees and then pressed down to his chest was against his legs and his arms were out in front of him. For the first time in years, he let his body move with the music. Focused not on the thrumming pain ever present beneath his skin but instead on the adrenaline and familiarity of the movements. He pushed his body as far as it would go and then more. 

At the soft finish of the song, Magnus found himself with his arms wrapped around his body and on his knees. Magnus’ body shook with deep heavy breathing as he tried to recover from the movement. Adrenaline rushed through his veins and a small smile graced his lips. 

He made to get up on his feet and a throbbing ache shot up through his body. Everything was on fire and he came tumbling back down. Magnus landed on his left hip which sent more pain coursing through his body. He cried out and panic began to eat at him. Everything hurt so much, what if he had actually done something this time? He couldn’t sort the normal pain from any possible injury and he couldn’t move far enough to do anything. 

“Hey Siri,” Magnus tried in a shaking voice. He repeated this several times before he heard the ding over the speakers signaling that his phone was waiting for a voice command, “Call Alexander.” 

“Calling Alexander heart emoji heart emoji,” Magnus let out a sigh of relief as he heard the phone began to ring over the speakers. Alec picked up almost instantly. 

“Hey Mags, I was just about to call you ‘cause I’m going to be home even later. What’s up?” Magnus felt tears prick at the backs of his eyes. Of course, Alec had a job he wasn’t always available at Magnus’ every whim. Still, the pain was bad enough that fear of being alone at this moment outweighed any doubt or guilt Magnus was feeling. 

“I need you home now.” The urgency in Magnus' voice must have carried through the phone because Alec responded instantly.

“I’ll be there in an hour ok?” there was a shuffling and Magnus heard Alec’s muffled voice say, “I need to get home it’s a family emergency.” There was another shuffle and Alec’s voice came in clearer, “What’s wrong? Do you need to go to a hospital?” 

Magnus tried to think. He didn’t want to go to a hospital. Hospitals meant nurses scorning him for expressing pain, rolling their eyes at the mention of fibromyalgia, and ultimately being dismissed then smacked with a bill so big it was more painful than the fall itself. So Magnus spoke, “No hospital. I just fell and I need you.” Alec made a noise of comprehension before starting to make conversation, he was trying to distract Magnus and Magnus knew this, but it was still very appreciated. 

Magnus heard noises in the background of the call as Alec got on the subway and walked through the streets of New York to get back to their apartment. Alec ended the call right outside of their front door. He assured Magnus that he would be in in a second and sure enough as soon as the call ended the door opened. 

Alec rushed over to Magnus and kneeled next to him, hands fluttering around him but hesitant to touch, lest he cause more damage. Magnus looked up at Alec and held his arms out like a young child. Alec instantly pulled him into a hug and started whispering to him. 

After what felt like an eternity in that position Magnus spoke, “I fell on my hip. I can’t tell if I hurt myself or if it’s just the pain.” Alec pushed back and nodded silently, looking appraisingly at the hip Magnus had indicated. He carefully lifted Magnus onto the couch before pulling at his pants and underwear to check the hip. Sure enough, a bruise was blossoming there but there was no swelling or any other sign of trauma. 

“I think you’re going to be ok. Still, I’m sorry you’re hurting.” Magnus nodded and looked down shamefully. Alec noticed this and bent down to move into Magnus’ gaze, “Mags...how did you fall?” 

Of course, Alec fucking noticed. The bastard was so damn perceptive that he always noticed when something was off or didn’t quite add up. Magnus shook his head and looked away, reluctant to admit to what he had done, partially for fear of Alec’s inevitable disappointment and partially a refusal to own up to his own stupidity. Still, Alec just sat silently and waited for Magnus to respond. 

“I was dancing.” Magnus blurted it out and tried to look even farther away from Alec who he was sure was giving him that stern look he always had when he was trying to convince Magnus not to do something too strenuous. But, again Alec surprised him. 

“Did you have fun?” Magnus jerked his head to look at Alec and instantly regretted it, letting out a hiss of pain before observing Alec’s genuine expression. 

A beat, then a smile spread across Magnus’ face, “Yeah...yeah I did.” Alec grinned at Magnus and pulled him into another careful hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so a note for a possible future chapter. 
> 
> I was thinking about doing a chapter about sex with chronic pain. Thing is most of these chapters have come from my own experience and I don't have any experience in that area. I'm asexual, not sex repulsed or anything it's just not for me. But I feel it's an important aspect of the lives of people with disabilities and chronic pain and a good step in attempting to strip away attempts to desexualize disabled individuals. 
> 
> If you would be interested in a chapter like that please comment and if you have any ideas for it please say so.


	5. what a joy when you touch me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A morning in the Bane/Lightwood home on a good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A credit to AtowncaledMalec as I consulted them for this fic. They helped a lot and this chapter would not have happened without them.

Even on bad days, mornings with Alec were soft. It was best when Magnus could wake before Alec. A twinge of pain wasn’t too bad and not nearly bad enough to keep Magnus from taking a moment to spoil his lover. Alec was always looking out for others so any time Magnus could do something for him he could. 

This particular morning found Magnus waking up before Alec. He shifted and stretched in bed and found Alec still next to him. Most days Alec was up and gone for the day with only a soft lingering kiss to a half-awake Magnus and a promise to call at lunch. This morning, however, Alec still lay slumbering next to Magnus with a hand resting on Magnus’ abdomen. Alec tended to be touchy, never overly so as that could hurt but he seemed to need to have at least one point of contact with Magnus if he could. Maybe it was to reassure himself that Magnus was there. 

Magnus carefully removed the hand from his body as he shifted off the bed. Alec reached out and pawed at the empty space where Magnus had been before pulling his arm to his chest and scrunching up his face with discontentment. Magnus breathed out a soft laugh at his clingy boyfriend. 

The apartment was fairly small, one bedroom that opened to a small hall that had a bathroom and closet on each side before opening into the kitchen/living/dining area. The walls had a railing on them that Alec had installed around two months ago. Today was good enough that Magnus was able to make it to the kitchen all on his own. The kitchen/living room area had a very open floor plan, something that- in combination with hardwood floors -was a nightmare to navigate on bad days. Alec had compensated for this by buying all kinds of fluffy rugs. 

The kitchen was easy to navigate since they had abandoned the use of any storage space that Magnus couldn’t reach easily. Magnus decided to go with something simple that he knew Alec would love, french toast. To be fair Alec would most likely love anything Magnus made for him because that was the kind of person he was. 

It only took about fifteen minutes to get everything together and make the toast. Magnus added some fruits to the place and arranged them to his liking. He set the two plates at the kitchen island before making the journey back to the bedroom. 

Alec had managed to twist himself up in the blankets and was sprawled on his back with his arms out. Magnus loved him best like this. No inhibitions, unafraid to take up space. Unfortunately, he really only got to see it when Alec was asleep. Alec was a reserved person. He opened up to Magnus but some days it still felt like he was closed off, hiding his own struggle in an attempt to bear everyone else’s. 

Magnus took a seat on one side of the bed and lifted a hand to cup Alec’s cheek. He leaned down and kissed Alec. As he withdrew Alec’s eyes fluttered open only to press closed again at the harsh light of the morning. He slowly sat up and blinked until he was adjusted to the light. He looked around and took in Magnus smiling and clearly already awake. 

“'cm ‘er” he mumbled and pulled Magnus back down onto the bed with him. Magnus laughed as held him tightly in an attempt to get a few more minutes in bed. Magnus tried his best to struggle out of Alec’s vice-like grip but ended up going still when Alec started pressing kisses along his jawline. 

When it was clear Magnus was no longer trying to escape Alec released his hold and shifted so his hands were loosely around Magnus’ waist. He continued his assault on Magnus’ neck, kicking it up a notch by beginning to nib and lick as he got closer to Magnus’ collarbone. 

“Don’t start something you can’t finish Alexander,” Magnus said trying to suppress a moan of appreciation. 

Alec stopped for a moment to arch an eyebrow at Magnus, “Who says I can’t finish?” 

Magnus laughed at his boyfriend’s antics before rolling out of his grip, a movement that caused Alec to whine and grab at him in a half-assed attempt to bring him back. 

“I’ve already made us breakfast and I personally am famished so how about we eat before you attempt to drain my energy further.” Magnus peered at Alec challengingly but with a playful smirk playing at his lips and showing his lack of resolve. He honestly would have been fine staying in bed with Alec all day but he knew it would be better to eat at least something today. 

It seemed Alec shared his sentiment as he popped up out of bed and looped an arm around Magnus to make his way to the kitchen. Even though Magnus didn’t need any help he let Alec support him. It was always like this, these small touches, constant contact, and anchoring point. It was as therapeutic for Magnus as he supposed it was for Alec though they had never discussed it. 

Alec made sure Magnus was situated on the barstool before taking a seat himself, “This is all amazing Magnus, thank you so much.” He leaned over and kissed Magnus on his cheek before turning to the food before him. 

Magnus watched Alec eat happily. It was rare that he got to do things for Alec. It was such a shame since Alec really deserved the world. After a while, Alec looked up and realized that Magnus hadn’t eaten anything yet. He furrowed his brows and offered the piece on his fork to Magnus. Magnus waved Alec away and turned to his own meal. 

The two ate in relative silence, interrupted only by the occasional word of praise from Alec. As soon as they were done Alec whisked the plates away and started to wash them. Magnus tried to convince Alec to let him do the washing up but Alec was determined. 

“You made the food so the least I can do is clean up.” Magnus tried to remind him that he did almost everything in the house so he could let Magnus handle this one chore but Alec just continued to wash and Magnus eventually gave up, walking back to the bedroom to go through his morning routine. 

By the time Alec came back to the room, Magnus was one the bed reading. Alec went back to wash up and when he returned Magnus put his book down. He held out his arms and Alec came to his side, perching on the edge of the bed. Magnus reached up and cupped the side of Alec’s face. Alec turned and pressed a kiss into Magnus’ palm while fixing Magnus with a look of pure love and adoration that sent Magnus’ heart fluttering. 

Forget the chronic pain, this man’s constant love, and devotion was going to be the end of Magnus. Death by Alexander didn’t sound too bad in Magnus’ opinion. 

Magnus looped his hands behind Alec’s head and pulled Alec closer so he was leaning against Magnus, their chest pressed together. Alec had to place a hand at Magnus’ side to steady himself. They looked deep into each other’s eyes and Magnus leaned in to kiss Alec. They pressed against each other, both desperate for the other. When They pulled apart they were both short of breath, they stayed close together, breathing the same air. 

“Make love to me, darling.” Magnus breathed out as he held Alec close. Alec’s eyes lit up with desire and he instantly pulled Magnus closer. He shifted so he was hovering over Magnus, legs, and arms making a protective cage around his boyfriend. He put one arm under Magnus’ back and lifted him up, Magnus’ arms- still loped around Alec’s neck -tightened to pull himself closer to Alec. They pressed together and kissed softly. 

Despite Magnus’ words, there was no urgency, no raging fire of lust under their skin, just a desire to be close. 

Alec was careful. His touches were soft yet still strong enough to be felt all the way to Magnus’ core. Alec carefully rid the both of them of their clothing. This was one place where Magnus felt no desire to begrudge Alec his need to be in control. Magnus was pliable, putty in Alec’s hands to move and mold in whatever way he thought best. 

They had been together enough that Magnus knew Alec knew what was best for him. He knew all of Magnus’ weaknesses and limits. He also knew every way to touch Magnus to bring him the most pleasure. He knew exactly where to bite down to make Magnus writhe, where to trace his fingers to make Magnus squirm. He knew Magnus. 

This was a practiced dance but still different every time. Magnus surrendered full control and let Alec lead. Still, he was unafraid to make his own movements to ensure that Alec got as much as he gave. 

Magnus was a dancer at heart, he knew his body and he knew exactly what to do to have Alec crying out his name. It wasn’t long before they were both drowning in a haze of pleasure. 

Alec collapsed to Magnus’ side and pulled him close. He pressed open-mouthed kisses to Magnus’ shoulder and neck and Magnus hummed in approval. It always took him a little longer to come back to the world after their time together. Magnus turned in Alec’s hold so they lay face to face. Magnus stretched his neck and kissed Alec’s nose. Alec scrunched his nose up as a smile spread across his face. 

They exchanged whispered I love yous and held each other close. 

It wasn’t long before the pain set in. No matter how much care Alec took sex was still a physical activity, and like all other physical activity, it caused Magnus’ overactive nerves to flare up. Alec noticed the shift instantly. He unwrapped his arms from Magnus and- after kissing Magnus’ forehead -got up. 

“I’ll get a warm bath ready.” Magnus smiled at Alec retreating form. How on earth did he get so lucky?


	6. miroagressions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus is annoyed so he makes some rash decisions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't kill me. I'm really sorry and I'll have the next part out tomorrow or possibly later today depending on how I feel.

Magnus was restless. He had already done laundry, made the bed, scrubbed down every surface in the apartment, and reorganized the medication cabinet. Days like this when Magnus felt fine and filled with energy he regretted quitting his job. Of course, for every day like this there were three where Magnus couldn’t even get out of bed so it was the right choice but sitting around the apartment was a bore. Normally he would write or try to arrange something nice for Alec but Magnus was currently upset with Alec so he was trying to passive aggressively send a message by not preparing dinner tonight. 

Alec had been distant lately. He hadn’t called the day previous at lunch like he usually did. He had been home so late that Magnus only had a hazy, half asleep memory of Alec rushing into their room and turning on a light before Magnus had drifted back to sleep. He had been gone before Magnus woke that morning which was not unusual, though Magnus had become accustomed to Alec shaking him from sleep long enough for a kiss and whispered I love you. 

In truth it was Magnus’ fault. He had become complacent. Come to expect the love and affection that Alec showered him in daily. Before Alec Magnus had believed that you had to exert a lot of effort to deserve the love of those close to you. You had to do things for them, buy things for them, take care of them at every turn and then maybe, maybe you would be deserving of some sort of gesture of affection from them.

But from the moment Alec stepped into Magnus’ life it became a game of give and take. It was almost as if Alec and Magnus were in a competition to see who could be more thoughtful, who could love better. 

It had been so long since Magnus expected anything less from life than what Alec offered happily. But Magnus knew that Alec’s caring nature was optional. Alec didn’t have to check on Magnus. They didn’t need to see each other every day. Logically Magnus understood all of this but he couldn’t help a feeling of unease, bitterness he supposed at Alec’s distance. 

Magnus took to reorganizing the bookshelf as his thoughts started to spiral and go off in negative directions. It was about half way through, with most of the books piled on the ground as Magnus attempted to alphabetize them, that Magnus decided he needed some fresh air. It had been a while since Magnus had gone on a walk by himself. 

It had been a while since Magnus had been out of the house by himself. The risk was normally too high. If Magnus was alone and he collapsed he might be unable to reach someone to get help, or worse someone could call an ambulance for him that he definitely didn’t need. Alec had voiced his discomfort of Magnus being out on his own especially on days that Cat was working at the hospital and would be unable to assist if need be. 

Alec’s work was nearly two hours away from any of the places Magnus liked to visit so he would not be able to get there in time and the idea that Magnus could be hurting and alone was very off putting to Alec. 

This thought echoed through Magnus’ mind as he went for his jacket. He registered that it would be dangerous for him to go off alone especially since he couldn’t reach Alec, Cat, Raph, or Ragnor. But that acknowledgment was drowned out with the thought of the small rebellious action against Alec. If Alec wanted to act like he didn’t care about Magnus than Magnus would function as if Alec didn’t care about him. 

Magnus scribbled a quick note that simply read, ‘out for walk’ and stuck it on the countertop in the kitchen. With that he was out to the street. 

It only took about fifteen minutes for Magnus to regret his decision. There was a dull aching sensation starting to thrum through his body. Magnus had managed to leave his phone at the apartment and he was thoroughly lost. He was so used to Alec taking charge any time they went anywhere he hadn’t realized that he had never taken time to think of the routes they took. 

Magnus ducked into a nice looking cafe when the aching started to become more persistent. He ordered tea and was relieved that he had remembered his wallet. The barista was a young person with a cheery disposition and a name tag that read “Bev they/them” 

It had been ages since Magnus had had a proper conversation with someone outside of his immediate circle. When Bev came over with his tea they started to chat and since it was an odd hour and the cafe was deserted they took a seat next to Magnus. 

“All of your stories are really fun! You must have a really interesting life. And that boyfriend of yours sounds precious,” Magnus furrowed his brow at the mention of Alec though to be fair Alec had featured in the conversation up to this point and it hadn’t bothered him until Bev reminded him of how good Alec was. 

Bev misread Magnus’ reaction and lifted their hands apologetically, shaking their head, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to assume Alec was your boyfriend. I just, you said he lived with you and it seemed like he was always with you.” 

“No need to apologize dear, you are spot on. Alec is indeed my significant other. I was just thinking, I may have done something rash today and I hope I can still remedy things before I upset him.” Bev gave Magnus a gentle smile and rested one of their hands on his. 

“From what you’ve told me about him he sounds pretty understanding. I’m sure whatever it is you can fix it. If there’s anything I can do to help I will. Though my only useful talents are drink making so unless I misread your age and Alec is actually a child I don’t think one of my hot chocolates would help.” Bev glanced away awkwardly and tittled nervously at their own comments. 

“Thank you hon, but I think this is something I have to fix on my own… Though if you don’t mind I would like to use your mobile for a moment.” Bev nodded happily and rushed to the back to get their phone when they returned Magnus took it with a smile and a thank you along with a promise to return it as soon as he made his call. 

He shakily dialed Alec’s number and cursed when Alec didn’t pick up. Alec would sometimes shut his home phone off at work so Magnus should have expected this. Magnus had to google Alec’s work can called. The kind woman at the front desk picked up and seemed surprised to hear from Magnus. 

“Oh! Magnus! Mr. Lightwood isn’t here. He actually tried to call you earlier and then panicked when you didn’t pick up. He ran out about an hour ago. He seemed really worried. I thought that you’d be in some sort of distress for him to act like that.” She continued chattering about Alec’s odd behavior at the office lately and she went on a tangent trying to suggest treatments for Magnus. Magnus tried to cut her off kindly and eventually got the phone back to Bev. 

“Come back any time, I work weekends, mondays, wednesdays, and thursdays! Come back and tell me what happens!” Magnus gave Bev an uneasy smile and promised to come back to the establishment before he rushed out to hail a cab. 

When the driver asked him for an address he blanked on what their building was called and ended up just asking the cabbie to drop him off at a large office building about a block away from the apartment. 

The drive was long and filled with anxious energy, so was the walk from the building to the apartment. Magnus walked up the stairs to their floor and regretted every moment of it but secretly thought he deserved the suffering. 

When he arrived at the door he steeled himself for Alec’s usual stern look and reprimanding for wandering off along with his fussing over Magnus any tim Magnus was out of his sight for too long. Instead when he opened the door he was met with not a stern but loving boyfriend and instead came face to face with Alec fuming. 

“What the fuck Mags! You just wandered off without your phone?” Magnus opened his mouth to apologize for worrying Alec but Alec’s next words killed any guilt Magnus may have felt, “I had to come home from work to look for you to find out that you’d just decided to wander off into the city. I called you three times before I realized your phone was back in the bedroom. I can’t believe this. You’re like a fucking child. I feel like I can’t let you out of my sight. If you could just fucking take care of yourself I could just do my job and not have to worry about you all the goddamn time!” 

Alec was breathing heavily. His voice had risen steadily as he ranted at Magnus. As soon as he was done Magnus felt several emotions surge through him. At first it was indignant at being treated like this but it was quickly drowned in guilt as Alec voiced all of Magnus’ fears about their relationship. Magnus felt himself straighten up and he knew that his emotionless mask must have fallen into place as Alec started to visibly regret his words. 

“Mags I-” 

“No it’s alright Alec. I understand. I don’t want to be a burden on you,” Alec’s regret turned to full blown fear as Magnus referred to himself as a burden, a fear he had voiced becoming to Alec and now Alec had made him feel exactly that, “I can get some things together and go to Raph’s house for a few days. That way you can get back to work.” Magnus’ voice lost it’s even emotionless tone and turned taunting towards the end before the brushed past Alec who seemed rooted to the spot.


	7. problems at work; problems at home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec fucked up. Magnus fucked up. 
> 
> Maybe they can fix it before Magnus wanders off and Alec has to sleep alone tonight, or not.

Magnus went back to their room and grabbed a bag to pack some things. He hadn’t been bluffing. Well, he had been lying because he couldn’t stay with Raphael since said man was currently in Australia on business but Magnus would just go find a hotel to stay at or worst came to worst he could call his father. Magnus stiffened as he felt someone staring at him. Alec had entered the room behind him and seemed to be hovering around the door. 

Magnus turned just enough to see Alec out of his peripheral vision. Alec was standing awkwardly by the doorway. He wasn’t making any move to stop Magnus from packing. This only set Magnus mind further. 

It was common knowledge that Magnus was a bit much. Magnus was used to people leaving him. He had decided that he was just too draining to be around. Even friends like Cat and Ragnor couldn’t handle his antics for more than a few days. It was honestly a miracle that Alec had been able to deal with him for so long. This was a long time coming. Magnus had gotten caught up and forgotten about possible consequences. Their lives were just so tied Magnus had forgotten that it was possible Alec could grow tired of him. 

Magnus grabbed his phone and shoved it in his pants pocket before pushing past Alec to leave their room. Alec trailed after him to the door. Probably just to make sure Magnus left, he thought to himself. 

Without looking back, Magnus opened the door and stepped out. If he looked at Alec’s face he might see some kind of regret and it would pull Magnus back to being more of a problem for the man. Magnus couldn’t do that. It was better if he just left. 

Only when Magnus was in the stairwell did he even think to stop and contact his friends to see if any of them had a place for him to stay. Cat was out of the question since she had Madzie, Raph was still in Australia. That left Ragnor. Magnus pulled out his phone and almost collapsed when his screen lit up. 

Alec had said that he called three times before realizing that Magnus phone was in the bedroom but Magnus’ phone had sixteen missed calls and seven voicemails. There were texts from Alec asking where he was if he was ok. There were messages from all of his friends too. All saying the same thing. Alec had contacted them worried about him and they wanted to check on him. The most recent was from Cat. She had called and left a voicemail. Magnus shakily lifted his phone to his ear to listen. 

“I know you’re going to be fine because I know you and you probably just forgot to charge your phone or left it somewhere and forgot to check it but seriously you’ve got to call Alec back. He’s called me four times. He’s so worried about you. I swear the guy already has Ragnor out looking for you and he’s moments away from calling Luke to declare you a missing person. He even got me involved. I got off of my shift early and I’m going to help Ragnor look for you. Just… call me if you get back with your phone and give that man one of your ridiculous cocktails to calm him down. He’s frantic. Oh god, he’s calling again I’m gonna take it-” 

Magnus was in tears by the time the message cut out. He had been painfully aware that Alec was a worrier. It was one of the first things his sister Isabelle had said about him when Magnus had first met her. But now Magnus had gone and pushed Alec to anger with his reckless behavior. 

It didn’t excuse Alec’s behavior. Alec had been far to derogatory and aggressive from the moment Magnus walked in the door and there was no excuse for that, still, Magnus admitted to himself that he could have handled it better. 

In an attempt to reach out to a sane person Magnus decided to call Isabelle. She was the best person to ask about Alec and Magnus knew he would need all kinds of help with this situation. 

Izzy answered instantly, “Hey Magnus! Were you getting a little stir crazy? Alec said you seemed a little agitated and I should expect a request to go shopping soon. I thought you would call earlier but- wait Magnus are you crying?” Izzy stopped as she heard Magnus take a shaky breath. 

“I’ve made some mistakes dear Isabelle. I’m afraid I’ve upset Alec and I now am without a place to sleep tonight.” 

“Wait you- did you say you don’t have a place to sleep tonight! What the hell did my brother kick you out of the apartment? I’ll kill him-” 

Magnus found himself smiling at Izzy’s fiery attitude, “No no, no killing will be necessary. I am the one that excused myself from the apartment. But- It’s a little complicated. Do you think we could go somewhere and talk?” Isabelle, ever the empathetic woman agreed instantly and promised to be out front of their apartment within the hour. 

The two of them ended up going back to Izzy’s apartment. One she was currently sharing with that boy Sam or something. He had an awkward dorky look about him and Magnus found him charming but ultimately annoying after more than ten minutes. When the two of them entered the apartment he shot up from the couch and took them in in confusion. 

“Out Si, go hang out with one of your friends or go for a walk we’re having a girls night.” Simon seemed hesitant but very obediently followed his girlfriend’s instructions and walked into another room, shutting the door behind him. 

As soon as he was gone Izzy turned to Magnus, “So what did my brother do this time?” 

Magnus grimaced, “Well it was really my fault-” Magnus began to explain everything starting from the moment he called Izzy and moving back. He explained how he had wandered off and made Alec worry and how Alec had yelled at him as soon as he was through the door. Izzy scrunched up her face at this but kept quiet at a pleading look from Magnus, waiting for Magnus to finish. When Magnus explained why he had been upset, about Alec being so distant lately Izzy seemed understanding. 

“I mean I can understand why he’s been so distracted what with our parent's divorce and his position at his job in jeopardy.” Magnus stopped cold and looked at Izzy with shock. 

“What did you say about your parents and his job?” Izzy looked at Magnus with confusion then dawning comprehension and annoyance. 

“Of course he didn’t tell you, idota,” Izzy continued to curse Alec in Spanish until Magnus' mouth caught up with his mind. 

“What exactly didn’t he tell me?” Izzy glanced away nervously at this and seemed to think about something for a moment. 

“I don’t think he would want me to tell you. But it doesn’t seem to be very forthcoming with his own problems so I guess I’ll have to step in. Our parents are getting a divorce. Mom told our dad that she’s actually bi and he lost it. He threw her out and is filing for divorce. Alec, Jace and I are all sending her money until she can get her finances untangled from dad. I think Alec felt super betrayed because Mom used to act like him being gay was this big deal and she never stopped dad from being an ass but turns out it was just a bunch of internalized shit. Then there’s the work thing.” 

“Yesterday Alec came and had dinner with me out of nowhere and he told me that there was this big shakeup at work and he might be getting a raise or getting fired. He asked if Jace and I would be able to cover mom without him because he said if he was fried he needed to take care of you. He was really worried.” 

Magnus buried his face in his hands. Of course, Alec was struggling and didn’t tell him. Magnus made him feel like he had to do so much when really Magnus should have been there for him. Magnus could hardly keep from openly weeping. 

“Nah-uh! Don’t go blaming yourself, Magnus Bane! You have done so much for Alec you don’t get to be upset about this. He’s so much happier now he’s with you. I know you make sure he eats all the time and you’re always trying to spoil him so don’t go trying to feel sorry for yourself. I want you to get up and-” Izzy was cut off by the doorbell. There was a series of knocks and she perked up. She launched herself off the couch and ran to the door to tug it open. 

Magnus soon found out why as an all too familiar voice filtered into the room. 

“Iz. I fucked up big time. Oh my God, I don’t think he’s gonna forgive- Magnus?” Magnus turned around slowly to face Alec standing in the door. Alec looked distraught. Magnus felt another twinge of guilt that he quickly stamped down as he saw Izzy out of the corner of his eye. 

“Simon and I have to go right, Simon!” Izzy yelled at Simon in the other room and after he didn’t respond she stormed into the room and came out tugging him by the arm as he removed earbuds from his ears. 

“I thought you wanted me to not pay attention. I’m sorry Iz-” He stopped as he saw the scene in the living room. He looked between Magnus and Alec who were still silently staring each other down, “Yeah Iz let’s go out for like four to six hours. Hey, Alec nice to see you bye.” He passed Izzy in his haste to exit. Izzy paused at the door to throw threatening looks at Magnus and Alec. 

“If you two don’t have this worked out by the time we get home you have me to answer too.” She then stepped out and closed the door behind her, but not before shoving Alec towards Magnus. This seemed to be enough to break them both out of their trance. 

“I’m so sorry-” they both spoke at the same time. There was a pause of silence where both awkwardly waited for the other to speak before Magnus took control of the situation. 

“No, I’m sorry Alexander. I didn’t notice you were upset and I acted recklessly.” Alec opened his mouth as if to cut Magnus off but Magnus just lifted a hand to silence him, “No, I should have noticed you were distressed and asked you about it. Obviously, that doesn’t excuse your outburst and I still expect an apology for that.” Magnus stopped to let Alec step in. Alec seemed happy too. 

“I’m so sorry Magnus. I don’t know what came over me. I just got so upset and worried and then you were there and fine and words just kept coming out of my mouth. I can’t apologize enough. Then you were saying you were going to leave and I just it reminded me-” Alec seemed to pause as if pushing something down, “I just couldn’t move or say anything. I’m sorry.” Alec had made eye contact through his first apology but after he cut himself off he seemed unable to look at Magnus. 

Of course, Magnus understood. Now that he had heard what was happening from Isabelle he understood. Alec had been reminded of his father leaving his mother and it had frozen him with fear. Alec has always been very frightened of people leaving him. His friend group had consisted of just his two siblings until Magnus and he had started dating. His parents had never shown him much affection and he was terrified of letting people down, it’s why he worked so hard to make sure he was useful in other people’s lives. He was much like Magnus in that way. 

“Oh Alexander,” Magnus tried to rise up from the couch but found his legs unable to support him. Alec rushed forward to steady him and get him back on the couch. But as soon as he was sure Magnus was safe he retreated again, making Magnus huff out in annoyance. 

“You are wholly forgiven, my love. Please don’t do that.” Alec looked around unsure of what exactly he was doing wrong. “You always do this. You distance yourself from me physically and emotionally when you think you’ve upset me. Please don’t and just come and sit down. We need to talk. Isabelle told me about your job and your parents.” Alec cringed at the mention of his problems but complied in Magnus’ request to sit. Though he still left a significant amount of space between them. 

That wouldn’t do. 

Magnus shifted until his leg was pressed against Alec’s. He lifted a hand and softly stroked Alec’s jaw before turning Alec’s face so they were facing each other. He examined Alec’s expression for a moment before pressing his lips over Alec’s in a tender kiss. Magnus felt Alec’s eyelashes against his face as Alec’s eyes fluttered closed. As soon as Magnus kissed him, all the tension drained from Alec’s shoulders and he sagged in relief. They were safe here. Together, in Alec’s sister's apartment, after one of their worst fights and at the start of a very serious discussion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a note. I have heard the fandom has this issue where they demonize Magnus and I'm not down for that. So I want to state that all of this is written from Magnus' perspective so all of the negative things he says about himself are just his doubts and obviously he really hasn't done much wrong. Maybe he was a little careless but other than that he's in the clear.   
> Alec on the other hand definitely messed up. He needed to apologize and that's ok. Sometimes people do the wrong thing and they have to apologize for their mistakes. Magnus had some apologies too. Neither of them is the bad guy or whatever they're both just people in a relationship who sometimes make mistakes. I realized that my portrayal of Alec was a little flat since there were things going on in the background that I never made clear to the audience and the story revolves around Magnus. I was thinking about making this a plot story instead of one-off things. The last chapter and this one were my attempts at that so if y'all like this then tell me and I'll keep it up but if not I'll go back to one-shots.


	8. halloween nights(1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec loved scary movies, Magnus...not so much

Some people liked to induce scares during the Halloween season. They take themselves on haunted trails or through haunted houses or watch horror movies until they are too paranoid to open their own door. Magnus didn’t like any of that. He got enough scares from his own failing health thank you very much. Alec, on the other hand, lived on all of that. 

Alec was an adrenaline junkie. He loved fast rides at amusement parks, engaging sports, horror movies. The last one was the one Magnus had the most trouble with because with the others he could cite his health and sit aside idly while watching Alec enjoy himself. But with movies what could Magnus do? There were very few things they could enjoy together, fewer still that Magnus felt Alec truly enjoyed. So as October rung its way into Magnus’ life Magnus smiled encouragingly at Alec who was going to switch their documentary for some new slasher fic. 

Magnus was specifically not fond of gory horror movies. The number of times Magnus had seen his own blood on the outside was enough for him, he didn’t fancy seeing some poor scantily clad woman’s insides. But then Alec grinned at Magnus his face illuminated by the bluish light of the screen and Magnus made up his mind to suck it up and watch the dismantling of Susie or whatever. 

The movie’s title lit up the screen as the screams of the first victim’s screams faded into the night. Magnus found himself settling into Alec’s open arms and hoping Alec hadn’t tried to outdo his first night choice last year. Last year it had been about a murderous wasp that could take human form and that flick had had Magnus wary of any buzzing near him for months. It seemed that this movie would be following a deranged man in a stupid costume in a frightening rape-y fantasy. 

The girls in this one were at least slightly competent so that gave Magnus hope. Though when they noticed the same man at three Halloween parties and didn’t call the cops Magnus was sure it was written by a man who hardly interacted with women. Magnus had once been out with Izzy and she had decked a guy then told Magnus to call the cops without so much as an explanation for Magnus. But Clary had gone along with it and several other girls helped Izzy hold him so Magnus just nodded and called the police. 

He’d later found out that the man had been trailing them through the night and he had attempted to spike Izzy’s drink. When the officer showed up several women corroborated Izzy’s story and included their own about how the man had made them uncomfortable from the moment he entered the establishment. 

Women were intelligent and perceptive and there was no way that not one woman in the packed clubs would have known the killers deal the moment he arrived but Magnus looked past this as the first girl died with horrible shrieking and far too much blood to be coming from her leg. For heaven sakes she’d only been nicked by the gate why was she gushing? Magnus thought to voice this to Alec when he felt something off. 

It wasn’t anything major at least it didn’t seem to be. There was just a sense. The lingering soreness from the full day shouldn’t have been alarming. But Magnus had a feeling. He assumed it must have been something like Isabelle’s sense of danger in strange men. This was just a warning sign. 

The movie had gone silent but suddenly there was a crash and a scream on screen. Magnus jumped in Alec’s arms and his heart skipped a beat.

His heart. 

His chest. 

It hurt. 

It wasn’t stopping. 

He couldn’t get his breath in. 

Alec was gone. 

The lights were on. 

The TV was off. 

Alec was back and hovering over him. 

“Magnus- Mags, Oh God..No! Mags what’s wrong,” Magnus hadn’t heard Alec that afraid since the fateful day Magnus had been forced to reveal his ailment to him. Something was wrong. What was wrong? Why was Alec so upset? Why couldn’t Magnus breathe?

“911? Yes, my- boyfriend is, I think he’s having a heart attack or- no he’s only thirty-five. He has no history of heart problems but he does have- Yes I’ll tell you his medical history just let me say it!” Alec never yelled like that Magnus couldn’t process why he was so upset or what was happening, “He has fibromyalgia. He’s on medication to manage the pain he took his night doses a few hours ago. I’ll I can go look at what they’re called but I don’t want to leave him.” 

Magnus felt his breath come back slow shallow breathing, anything more would make the pain worse, unbearable, which was saying a lot considering what Magnus went through each day. He tried to sit up and Alec looked away from the phone his hands fluttering trying to calm Magnus but only succeeding in annoying Magnus. 

Instead of listening to Alec Magnus sat up and snatched the phone from his hands, “This is the boyfriend and I’m fine. Well, not fine probably fine. I do need to come in though. It’s probably costochondritis- Alec it’s just pain in my-” Magnus had been sidetracked explaining the term to his very worried looking boyfriend when he’d lost the little breath he had. Alec leaned against Magnus supporting Magnus’ weight and taking the phone back. 

“I don’t know what that is but that was him. He’s acting like he’s out of breath. I don’t know what to do.” 

Magnus let himself rest against Alec as he listened to the very kind emergency worker tell Alec that since Magnus had collapsed and was having trouble breathing it would be best to send an ambulance if they could afford it. At that Magnus looked up at Alec. Alec had never told Magnus where he had landed with his job but it seemed that this was no choice for Alec. 

“Please send one. I can’t drive him right now.” Magnus tried to reach up and catch Alec’s attention. When Alec looked down at Magnus he just pressed his lips together, furrowed his brows in that way that he did then started giving the worker their address. Magnus couldn’t argue, both in that he physically couldn’t and that he didn’t have the emotional strength to say anything against Alec when he looked at Magnus like that. 

The ride to the hospital was uncomfortably silent with either man only speaking to answer various medical questions or when Alec scolded the EMTs for being too rough around pressure points that ‘they should have known they’re medical professionals damn it” 

Magnus looked down at his lap and tried not to make eye contact with Alec, it would only make him feel guilty. But not because of Alec. Alec would just be looking at Magnus like Magnus was the light of his life and he was so worried that light would go out. But that would only further cement the guilt which would also bring new guilt about feeling guilty. He had ruined watching a movie with Alec and now they had this added expense that Magnus’ current career of nothing “writer for hire” was sure as hell not helping to pay for. 

Then Alec just reached out and put a hand on Magnus’ leg. It would have been his hand but the EMT was sitting next to him so Alec just reached for what he could get. His grip was solid and reassuring, it prompted Magnus to look up and see Alec smiling at him. Alec looked like a wreck, dark bloodshot eyes, frazzled hair, in a rumpled white undershirt that seemed to have a stretch where Magnus had clutched at it, and he was smiling. Magnus wanted to launch himself out of the ridiculous stretcher and hold Alec close, remind him just how much Magnus loved him. But he was tied down for safety so he just sat still and looked into Alec’s tired eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we're getting kinda plotty here in this home.   
> I hope you'll excuse the gaps between updates, my life has been hectic. I hope to have part two of this out before All Hallows Eve.   
> Leave a comment for what you'd like to see in the future for everyone's favorite couple.


End file.
